On: Backseat Driving
12:34 PM
Gifs via lespenseesdepandee
These past 96 hours, I have found myself navigating the complexities of pop culture and the Black female experience with thanks to Miss Ariana Grande.
Funny, I know.
What does an Italian, pop n'b-lite star have anything to do with Blackness?
In the sense of culture, absolutely nothing, really.
In the sense of aesthetic, branding and visual presentation...a whole lot, unfortunately.
You see, Miss Grande's presence - as brought about into my own lexicon via the Nickelodeon channel, a giant ponytail and a doo-wop skirt combo and XM Radio - has never registered more than a passing appreciation on my end.
As an artist and pop figure, she was a white woman who neither grated my nerves nor presented as something I would invest far too much time in.
This is mainly because I am able to acknowledge her great vocal ability, but cannot ignore how uncomfortable her branding makes me.
However, within the past year her social profile elevated in a massive way - she was no longer a passing fancy, she was a near-constant public presence. A tabloid fodder and unwitting sh*t-starter, I could no longer attribute Ariana's presence to a 3 minute and 45 second ditty.
Then came...The Problem™.
As my...mild discomfort of her stems from a place we have gone before long ago with the likes of Justin Timbersnake (this is a Backstreet Boys home!), Justin Bieber, LaMilton Treyshawn Miley Cyrus circa her Bangerz era, Post Malone, Iggy Azealea and countless others, I will not go into detail with my issues.
No, as I would prefer to not navigate those same, constantly traveled waters - all I will say is please, oh how I implore you all to PLEASE make listening to the concerns of others a priority. It is a basic human decency we were all taught in our infancy.
If and when an issue is expressed, the least that is expected from the individual who is not speaking is respect and a listening ear. Trying to Tyra "OMG, I REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED TO ME" Banks a situation and backseat drive a narrative that is not yours is so, so frustrating and selfish.
To quote my mother: if it does not apply, let it fly. Do not continue. Do not pass go.
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.
No, as I would prefer to not navigate those same, constantly traveled waters - all I will say is please, oh how I implore you all to PLEASE make listening to the concerns of others a priority. It is a basic human decency we were all taught in our infancy.
If and when an issue is expressed, the least that is expected from the individual who is not speaking is respect and a listening ear. Trying to Tyra "OMG, I REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED TO ME" Banks a situation and backseat drive a narrative that is not yours is so, so frustrating and selfish.
To quote my mother: if it does not apply, let it fly. Do not continue. Do not pass go.
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.
Sometimes there are experiences with which we have absolutely no authority to speak towards. If I were to use my voice to speak over the narrative of an individual who I cannot relate to on any level, I would be invalidating their story and contributing to their erasure. It's like a human, "I see you, but" - and I despise that. Simply because in this instance, the word 'but' is used and connoted as a negative to introduce what you believe to be factual and true.
This is not your car and that is not your lane.
And of course, taking the backseat is never easy! Of course, not all things are done with bad intention!
However, if you are asked to listen and not speak, respecting those wishes is the very least of what you may do.
So take the backseat and listen.
Otherwise, don't be shocked if you end up curbside.
This is not your car and that is not your lane.
And of course, taking the backseat is never easy! Of course, not all things are done with bad intention!
However, if you are asked to listen and not speak, respecting those wishes is the very least of what you may do.
So take the backseat and listen.
Otherwise, don't be shocked if you end up curbside.
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