As Seen in 2018...
7:02 PM
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As the Julian calendar marks the close of this year of our Lord 2018, I would like to thank not only Jesus Christ, but God as well, that it is over. Though it wasn't awful to the point of madness, it did garner a reputation of being one of the longest I have crawled through in my 24 years of existence. The highs were too short, the lows dragged for too long and, to be frank, the lows were more frequent than the highs. I don't know what it was about 2018, but it was one of those years that just...WHEW! Typically, I can flow through life and take things on the chin, but this year was an endless barrage from the left and right. Honestly, how is this the same year Black Panther was released and Beyoncé got bitten? Am I falling behind? Were months stretching longer?
I have finally began eating my walnuts and almonds, but goodness! It's a little jarring coming to terms with the fact that time is moving both at a glacial pace and also flying by.
So, as inspired by Kid Fury and maintained as a way to cope with feeling like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, I present you the time honored tradition of the 18 people (and things) which I would prefer remain seen only in 2018...
1. Abuse of power
Gifs via myrnaloy
It...really does boggle my mind that bad people can climb or even be groomed to take their place at the top of any industry. On top of that, once they have arrived at the top, rather than foster an environment of inclusion, they choose to inflame their awful, awful egos by encouraging and provoking toxicity and harm upon others. Then - and this is the cherry on top of the awful pie - while also yielding the power to shift structures, they lord said power over others and groom the next AWFUL, AWWWWWWFUUUUUL individual to continue perpetuating this cycle.
Gifs via kpfun
Sometimes it is hard leaning on the "karma will deal with them!" platitude, because there are truly wicked people who will thrive, despite this, for the entirety of their LIVES.
Was Peter Parker the only one listening to Uncle Ben when he warned, "with great power comes great responsibility"?!
I'm telling you, now, the tides are changing. People are becoming more vocal about their mistreatment and let me tell you for FREE, the columns will continue to come falling down in 2019.
2. Expecting Black women to save the world
Gif via thegenerousqueen
Do I look like Storm? Vixen? Bumblebee? Misty Knight? Monica Rambeau? Nubia? Thunder? Rocket? Philippus? The Crimson Avenger? Skyrocket? Amanda Waller? Silhouette? Lady Hawk or Martha Washington?
The answer is no.
We're not superhuman, this fight cannot be undertaken by us alone and the burden of responsibility does not rest solely upon our shoulders.
That anyone had the unmitigated gall to blame Beyoncé for Beto O'Rourke's loss in the Texas Senate race is a GIGANTIC red flag.
As a reminder, Black people - meaning the sum total of all Black people in these continental United States - make up a little over approximately 12 percent of the United States population.
It was never realistic to expect us to save the world simply because we - more often than not - vote or participate in activities which serve in our best interests.
That anyone had the unmitigated gall to blame Beyoncé for Beto O'Rourke's loss in the Texas Senate race is a GIGANTIC red flag.
As a reminder, Black people - meaning the sum total of all Black people in these continental United States - make up a little over approximately 12 percent of the United States population.
It was never realistic to expect us to save the world simply because we - more often than not - vote or participate in activities which serve in our best interests.
Either take charge and join the fight, or lose the number.
In 2019, keep these "flattering" sentiments and actually DO something.
In 2019, keep these "flattering" sentiments and actually DO something.
3. Groanald Dumptruck
Gif via doyouevenfilm
Self explanatory.
I'm as tired as his wig.
4. Not believing victims
Gifs via pariztexas
If you identify as a person whose skepticism and unjustified anger/vitriol are the immediate responses to individuals being honest and transparent about their traumas - I hope you get a splinter in your buttcheek once the clock strikes midnight.
Go "but what if-" and "I'm not saying anything, but-" into some woodchips. Your use of the word "but" and your immediate need to invalidate the feelings of other people is not rocking over here.
5. Bylines culled from social media/Not citing sources
Gifs via onehellofascene
I know journalists, reporters and other writers don't technically undertake something akin to a Hippocratic Oath, but I distinctly recall pledging to be ethical, truthful and objective. We all have dry spells, the term writer's block didn't appear from nowhere, but if you are someone who has made a career or gross profit off of lifting some young, poor creative's ideas, I hope you chip a front tooth.
I wish you an obscene amount of cavities.
It is already hard enough to get your foot through the door - next time, rather than stealing, why not just invite someone to the table?
Why not collaborate?
Oh right, for some, the human ego is so fragile and praise is the only fuel worth consuming.
If Beyoncé and Rihanna can cite and give credit to even the most minor of sources, so can you.
Consider that before you put your own capitalist desires before the inspiration and creations of others.
6. Clickbait headlines/Correcting headlines
Gifs via realitytvgifs
1. ENOUGH!!!! ENOUGH!!!! MY FELLOW MEDIA FAMILY, YA'LL KNOW BETTER THAN TO RESORT TO THIS!!
2. EITHER SIT IN ON A WRITING FOR THE MEDIA OR ANY JOURNALISM-CENTRIC COURSE, OR STOP RESPONDING TO/"CORRECTING" VAGUE HEADLINES!!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE INTRIGUED AND MOTIVATED TO CLICK ON THE LINK TO THE LARGER STORY!!!! THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE VAGUE HEADLINE!!! OH MY GOODNESS, ENOUGH!!!!!
7. *Twitter threads
Gifs via movie-gifs
*specifically those really long threads that may as well be Medium articles or pitched to a publication
This is me being nit picky.
Not that they aren't interesting to read, but...I'm not an individual who enjoys reading novel-length passages on any form of a device. Call me old-fashioned, but if I must single-handedly begin the fight to save libraries, I will! Also, my eyesight is terrible.
I mostly - actually, mainly - go on Twitter to laugh or consume new information which will drive me off of the app. Please, preserve some of your more...long-winded stories or explanations for an external medium.
Not that they aren't interesting to read, but...I'm not an individual who enjoys reading novel-length passages on any form of a device. Call me old-fashioned, but if I must single-handedly begin the fight to save libraries, I will! Also, my eyesight is terrible.
I mostly - actually, mainly - go on Twitter to laugh or consume new information which will drive me off of the app. Please, preserve some of your more...long-winded stories or explanations for an external medium.
Especially when the threads are scholarly or political - those get very banal past tweet 15.
We've got 280 characters now, try to use them wisely.
We've got 280 characters now, try to use them wisely.
But, uh, whatever escandaloso story you have to share, do continue to do so.
8. IG TV
Gifs via queermeup
If ever there was a time or medium dedicated to making me feel like an elder milennial, this is it. Is this not just YouTube on Instagram? Why not just...go to YouTube? Someone explain the necessity of this? Can you hear me screaming at the clouds?!
9. Facetune
Gif via bob-belcher
Okay, so this one is more like a mildly elevated annoyance. I actually do not mind Facetune when it is being used to enhance makeup pics or other face art. And if you want to swipe away your blemishes, pores, scars, etc - do so! I just want my more heavy-handed friends to know this:
You look like Renesmee from Twilight.
You look like a CGI from the very early 90s and it is...so jarring, at first glance.
Gifs via twilightsagadaily
Is this what you want to serve? I know this...thing...was a merge of CGI and a real human's face, but when posited next to people who are visibly not airbrushed, it gets very creepy.
10. Diversity points
Gifs via onehellofascene
It is not enough to have a minority onscreen and consider yourself having achieved, or accomplished, diversity. It is not okay that there are so few roles for Black women and men in Hollywood, meanwhile I've seen Emma Stone in about seven different trailers for seven different kinds of films in about four different kinds of genres over the past two years all while she - apparently - wasn't actually working! It is an affront that any sector of entertainment - as long as the entertainment and media industry have been around - is still shelling out "the first"'s. It is not revolutionary nor groundbreaking to tell a story with leads of color that limits them to stereotype, expected behaviors or as a prop or nod to Whiteness and the White Savior Industrial Complex.
Acclamation be damned.
Either work to do and be better, or expect continued and consistent divestment in 2019.
11. (AllYouCanBeIs) Strong Black leads
Gifs via flashallens
All I ask for is dimension. Multi-faceted identities not centered around Whiteness or white supremacy. No longer do I wish to see the sacrificial lambs, the Mammy's, the Magical Negro, the possibly biracial best friend who has one line an episode or is relegated to neck twisting and "mhmm"-ing. I want to see a rom-com, a sci-fi, hell a space musical dramedy that reimagines the story of, I don't know, Odysseus. I want to see Black women wrap their hair up or ask for silk pillows (shoutout to This is Us) and Black men freak out about their waves.
I don't want anymore biopics or police brutality trauma porn. I want humanity. I want realism. I want, like Viola Davis said, wild.
12. The one-drop rule
Gifs via refinery29
*Sighs* This conversation was handled so, so poorly.
If anything, it is a little problematic to see issue with one identifying as biracial and forcing someone to pick a side.
The one drop rule is based upon white supremacist pseudoscience. That it is propped up and maintained today is...troubling. Despite the neverending anecdotal crises of our fellow briacial, #TeamMixed bredren, sistren and otherkin, it is not a bad or negative thing to acknowledge that an individual is biracial if they are indeed, only in existence with thanks to the collaboration of individuals of two different races. Meaning two direct parents are of a different RACE.
Speaking of which, I need people to learn the difference between genetic admixture, ethnicity and race
I'll admit it - I used to be someone who adhered to the mentality that a mixed person had to choose which side they identified with. Even as a Black woman with biracial friends, I immediately felt obligated to allocate them to the same racial category as me. Then it started to feel weird once I realized as often as people emphasized one race, the same luxury would not be afforded to the other. How could I look at one person, acknowledge their identity, and then look at the other and not do the same?
I recognized how doing and participating in uplifting the one-drop rule contributed to the erasure of both races and the biracial individual's identity.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging both sides of the coin.
I recognized how doing and participating in uplifting the one-drop rule contributed to the erasure of both races and the biracial individual's identity.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging both sides of the coin.
If anything, it is a little problematic to see issue with one identifying as biracial and forcing someone to pick a side.
Please cut that sh*t out in 2019.
13. False/contradictory politics
Gifs via atonemant
The one thing I thoroughly dislike about this heavy handed socially aware era is the constant need and requirement that people prove they have become something they are not. In 2018, I came to realize there were a lot of people running around saying things they didn't mean and doing things they didn't believe. No shame in wanting to be attuned to the social cultural shifts, I just don't like realizing that a person's perceived awareness or growth is a fraud.
Evolution is unavoidable, and depending on the kind of person you are, you may be more willing or susceptible to it. However there are those who, despite this, don't. However, because they (and truthfully, most everyone in existence) are aware of the fact that there is more to lose in being closed-minded, they pretend to have evolved.
In 2019 I just want everyone to be transparent about their ideologies. Stop conforming to pressures and succumbing to social expectations or public consensus.
I would rather a bigot show me they were a bigot than pretend otherwise.
14. Miscommunication
Gif via sweet-seduction-lies
My mother tells me, to this day, that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. I find this ironically amusing because I would always hear what she was saying, but I would never listen to what she meant.
Hearing someone and listening to someone are two completely different things.
I have never been someone to remain mute unless the situation did not warrant a response or reaction. In 2018, I learned vocalizing is just as integral to our well-being as listening. Communication is a two way street and if you cannot dedicate yourself to promoting HEALTHY communication, keep yourself in 2018.
15. 'Outrage' bait
Gif via realitytvgifs
Now this is a prime example of people being obtuse and letting their anger cloud their logic and judgement.
If you haven't heard of the thing which has been propped up to provoke outrage, chances are it has been made up. Chances are, the thing which has been propped and made up to provoke outrage has been done so to warrant a fanatic response, reaction or engagement. Then it promotes this weird, vicious cycle of faking an outrage story with the sole intention of actually creating an outrage story?
It's a very strange time.
Let's leave this behind.
16. Harassing *Rihanna about an album
This is another thing which I believe started out as a meme and then went really, really haywire.
Rihanna is not your pet, or a circus or zoo animal. She is not caged in a box and set to perform for your entertainment whenever you command her to.
There's this really weird entitlement some fans have to their favorite artists and its disconcerting. Creating art is not a process which time impedes. She is no longer in that stage of her career where she has to build investment and is required to constantly interact so as to develop a fanbase.
She's not going to shoot out, as Beyoncé says, some quick singles or albums which will be here today and gone tomorrow - she's going to, and is working on, building a body of work.
There's this really weird entitlement some fans have to their favorite artists and its disconcerting. Creating art is not a process which time impedes. She is no longer in that stage of her career where she has to build investment and is required to constantly interact so as to develop a fanbase.
She's not going to shoot out, as Beyoncé says, some quick singles or albums which will be here today and gone tomorrow - she's going to, and is working on, building a body of work.
Besides, she has plenty old hits and collaborations to tide you over while you await her forthcoming album.
In the time spent harassing her, you could be building investment in new artists - Rihanna's not going anywhere anytime soon!
So stop harassing her and your other fave artists.
17. [Redacted]-fishing/Blackface lite
Gifs via thxsbitchhxwls
For the people who encourage this gross fetishization of - let's be honest - the lightskinned, 3c curls, biracial aesthetic...I wish you an inner ear infection. Balance your life and figure out why you succumb to the notion that this is an appealing thing to consume.
Image via ourmelanins
For the individuals who are actually participating in the Dachel Rolezal cosplay...I hope you find the beauty in yourself and wish you intense psychotherapy.
Don't let me catch you in 2019.
18. ENGAGEMENT WITH BAD PEOPLE/THINGS
Gifs via bob-belcher
I'm going to continue to request this until it sticks.
Please...follow the way of Rihanna and stop this.
BONUS (no Jonas) THINGS WE'RE LEAVING BEHIND
Antagonizing individuals with marginalized identities
(PERIOD. And especially under the guise of 'humor' or 'concern')
Gifs via kendrasaunders
Celebrity culture
(PERIOD. And especially under the guise of 'humor' or 'concern')
Gifs via kendrasaunders
Going out of your way to fatshame, queerbash or spread ill and harm towards people who have done nothing to you is the mark of a truly despicable person. It takes nothing, and I mean nothing, to give people respect and to respect people's identities and lived experiences. That is the basic, bare bones level of graciousness and courtesy which we can show people.
I was taught to grant respect and love with no conditions or limit to all who showed me the same. PERIOD.
If you cannot do the same, keep your ass in 2018.
If you cannot do the same, keep your ass in 2018.
Stop going out of your way to invoke harm or pain to people who have done all of nothing to you. If you identify as someone who participates in this, you are an awful, awful person and I wish you random, explosive diarrhea to last a lifetime.
Gifs via filmgifs
They are just people. Not DC or Marvel heroes, not the father or mother you never had, not your sister, Auntie or play cousins - stranger ass, regular ass, people. A majority of them are not worth the extreme investment or projected personalities a lot of people have relegated unto them.
The sooner you realize they are prone to the same highs and lows as you, the better.
Beyoncé is the only celeb immune to these feelings because, when she is not working, she's basically a stranger to me. I don't care, go fight your granny.
Extreme investment in the lives of complete strangers
Gifs via rihannafenty
Much like celebrity culture, this is another, "they're just regular ass people" rant . I recall Beyoncé saying in Life Is But A Dream that she thought people were so brainwashed. She said today, we go online so often and see image after image after image, we forget the very real form behind the image.
I agree.
At one point in time, the only way we could access our faves was through interviews or fanpages - they came to us. Now, with thanks to the growth of social media, popular culture has been impacted and propped up so much so to the point where:
1. Boundaries are nonexistent or completely ignored
2. Anyone can be seen as worth investment
In 2018, I severely undermined the power and reach of social media. Regular people with no stand out qualities or talent had a fanbase, and I was confused!
People have become ravenous for an inside look - and I don't fault them, it is just a casualty of the lack of boundaries online. We can go to the ones we stan for at any point, whenever we so choose.
To deny social media and fan culture have merged to create a very invasive culture is to tell a lie.
I just want people to calm down a bit, and recognize these extreme investments are inherently detrimental to your mental health.
How are you going to grow your garden watching someone else's?
In 2019, I just want people to take a step back and find a balance.
Dragging Beyoncé into everything, always
Gif via realitytvgifs
LEAVE HER OUT OF IT.
Let her raise her three kids, be a phenomenal artist and be happily married - it's not everyday and it's not by force.
Gifs via westwallys
The internet is not a real place. Stop crossing boundaries and dancing on lines with people you would never look in the eyes were you to meet in real life.
Scripted 'reality' television
Gifs via kane52630
Gigantic pet peeve and something I've always been confused about. I cannot suspend my disbelief or my grip on reality on things which are blatantly...fake. I also want someone to explain to me just why the said "reality" show just can't be marketed as a half-hour comedy or one-hour drama?
I just don't like it, go away.
"What about"-ism
Gifs via dailyhermionegranger
It is a logical fallacy, and if you do this you are a douche.
Projecting insecurity
Gifs via lukeskywalker
Your feelings of inferiority do not determine the realities of other people. Please do not put words into the mouths of others, and work on healing your wounds before you end up hurting another.
Projecting your pains onto someone else will not make you feel any better nor will it take away whatever pains you have.
Let's work on building up the iron in our own spines before we reach to snatch it out of others.
Gifs via betterthankanyebitch
I hate that the word 'clout' is in my lexicon, mainly because it is something I - admittedly - only picked up in the context of social media, but stop clout chasing.
Stop performing extreme behaviors in any pathetic search of validation, fame or celebrity.
At the end of the day, the likes, shares and retweets will not bring you any kind of peace because what?:
The internet is not a real place and what little attention you receive from your fleeting moment of 'infamy' is temporary.
Keep it in 2018.
Pick Me's and their students
Gifs via emmanuelleriva
All the work and testimony to submission that you put in for the individuals you are attracted to...is not worth it.
If there is any individual who requires or admires your willingness to remain bowed for their affection, you should be very, very worried.
Also, and this is speaking the God's honest truth: you look very dumb and sound kind of like a beggar.
Relax and go read some Toni Morrison.
Punch-down humor
Gifs via giphy and the-stan-book
It's not funny or shocking to joke down. Any good comic knows this.
Misogynoir & Colorism*
Gifs via yoncehaunted
*specifically towards girls with what has been historically labeled as, "Negro features"
WWWWWWHHHHEEEEEEEEWWWWW CHILE!
Not ever in my life have I been so accosted by this than in 2018. That people were bragging, loudly and with their whole chests, about stages of their lives wherein making fun of Black girls and women was the norm is...I'll just say the times are shaky.
Let me tell you something, Elvins, not in 2019.
From my lips to God's ears, work on your hatred and introspect on why bothering and making Black women the butt of your jokes is something you are so comfortable with doing.
Work on why you feel comfortable harassing and throwing visibly Black girls (even from YOUTH) under the bus while you are on, what you consider, a step towards acceptance.
Work on why you consistently put in work, overtime, to invalidate the beauty of visibly Black girls and women.
Unpack why the standards and goal posts are constantly in motion for all Black and half-Black biracial girls.
Gifs via betterthankanyebitch
The most DISRESPECTED.
The most NEGLECTED.
The most UNPROTECTED.
And yet we are the most IMITATED.
The most EDUCATED.
The most DEDICATED.
A Black woman started #BlackGirlMagic - commodified
A Black woman started #BlackLivesMatter - commodified
A Black woman started #MeToo - commodified
A Black woman started #OscarsSoWhite - commodified
A Black woman is the greatest living entertainer - disputed and disrespected
Envy and jealousy had, and still has, ya'll acting very crazy.
Either fall in line and give us our props, or leave us alone and start presenting as legitimate competition.
If not, when the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2018...
*Thanos snap*
Gina Rodriguez-ing
Gif via pennylessproud
Whew, chile the anti-Black tendencies...the anti-Black tendencies.
The envy...the envy.
I hope she unpacks her bias' in 2019.
Racism/White Supremacy
(A girl can dream)
Gifs via fairfaxunderground
“I am America. I am the part you won't recognize. But get
used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours;
my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me.”
“I am America. I am the part you won't recognize. But get
used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours;
my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me.”
―
Aggressive, mildly racist v*gan propaganda
Gif via doyouevenfilm
Um...I didn't think it needed to be said, but trying to convince me to go vegan by comparing the plight of animals to rape, slavery, the Holocaust or any other genocide will...not...work.
I am also immediately uncomfortable by individuals who will first take up for animals, and second take up for humans. Not that you should have to choose, but...
You...should...choose.
"Ya'll so sensitive"/"I'm smarter than you"/"Ya'll just started being Black" Twitter
Gifs via realitytvgifs
Gif via realitytvgifs
*Ya'll know what page I'm talking about.
Sanaa Lathan...I really hope it wasn't you.
Look. I, too, became a little wary of Tiffany Haddish's constant #CelebStories, but this one...THIS ONE was a blessing.
Gifs via realitytvgifs
You're all incarnations of the same, pretentious beast. You think you are fighting each other, but you are fun house mirror images of the same insecurity and perceived exceptionalism.
Just a bunch of clowns and hit dogs hollering.
Work on yourself.
TheRhadeSoom* Gif via realitytvgifs
*Ya'll know what page I'm talking about.
If hell had wifi and an IP Address. This is the worst social media place on Earth and is home to some of the most miserable individuals.
And here I was thinking drowning in celeb gossip died with PerezHilton.
Whoever the hell had the AUDACITY to bite Beyoncé
Images via thelegendarybender
Look. I, too, became a little wary of Tiffany Haddish's constant #CelebStories, but this one...THIS ONE was a blessing.
To the alleged individual: Sort your alleged cocaine habit out and leave that Jack Jack from The Incredibles behavior in 2018.
#ShowMeYour(All White)(All Male)Room
Gifs via baawri
Systematic exclusion is such a crazy thing to see. Claiming there is limited talent is a poor cover up for the fact that recognizing and acknowledging talent in those who do not resemble you nor share your lived experience is more a comment on your character than the individual's skill. You have not achieved diversity nor begun to witness the greatness which comes with difference.
Save your excuses, I don't want to see your room.
And I kind of hope your show flops.
FIN
Gifs via landlordlillian
Girl, that's it, I'm done, I've ranted myself to fatigue. 2018, I bid you adieu! I wish you all a very Happy New Year, and though I will likely spend mine at a party I would rather not be at, I will make it a point to ring in the New Year with a smile.
2018 might have been Beetlejuice's playground, but that gives hope 2019 will be greater.
Also, I hate to be That Person™, but Election season (or #ElectionSzn, for the youths) is just around the corner. I do hope everyone makes it a point to research and actually invest in candidates who will work towards ensuring a better future for ALL peoples. Of course, don't invest so much so you become manic and lose sight of elevating lives outside of politics, but just enough so when the time comes to do your civic engagement, you're not in the booth confused.
To all of my Black and Black biracial girls, here's to more wins and high strutting in 2019.
All the best and all the love.
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