She's back! Like Lazarus, I rise, having been assaulted by the creativity bug once more! Dumped in the pool of inspiration! Soaked in the salts of imagina-

okay, okay, I'm done.

Remember when I said I would try to do 10 posts a month?!


That big lie.
(I'm working on being better, forgive me)

Fresh from a short-lived hiatus spent going through lulls in creativity because nothing is exciting to me anymore lounging poolside in Croatia with my manservant/slave/sugar daddy (gotta speak these things into existance, ya know - manifest your destiny now, ladies, gents and others), I came to a debilitating realization:

One day, Beyoncé and Rihanna, my decades-long faves, will retreat into the shadows, and...*chokes back tears* leave me. And then I thought - cresting upon a sadness bearing the emotional weight equivalent only to the opening scene in The Prince of Egypt when Yocheved released Moses into the Nile - who will be the girl/guy/otherkin to take their place?

Not legitimately take their place because icons are immortal, but you know what I mean - who would be the next One I would watch?

Then I really got to thinking about all my black femme faves, and awash with the same shock Wendy Williams had before infamously passing out on the stage of her eponymous talk show, I had to step back and realize that the young black femme's of today...were doing absolutely nothing for me.

And neither were the biracials black adjacents!

I had a serious 'come to Jesus' moment as I realized there was nothing connecting me to or moving me towards becoming a long-term, dedicated fan of..well any of these new under-25s. Save for a superficial appreciation of "looks", admiring finely curated public personas and images that tricked the unknowing public into thinking they shared an ostensibly close bond (because all social media is a rife with over-familiar, boundary crossing behavior and attitudes) and cosigning of well-timed, agreeable soundbites spouting The Various Things People Want You To Say/You Should Say In Order To Appear Like A Well-Adjusted, Progressive Member Of Society™, I found myself blanking on what tied me to...any of the new 'it' girls. Besides shared blackness, I came to realize I had nothing to give the kids outside of an, "I'm rooting for you, sis!"

Now the appreciation of all of that is fine and dandy, I see nothing wrong with enjoyment of the superficial - it is how most every member of a now notoriously noxious family has maintained and, by proxy, extended its star power to those with which they affiliate. However, in the age of the social media starlet, it has become harder and harder to discern just what I deem makes someone worthy of more than just passive appreciation.

Which I emphasize especially in this irritating age where soundbites about social justice are commodified and used shallowly as 'get in with public favor and watch your star shine and rise!' (well...depending on your skin color...) points. Pair that alongside constant boast of follower counts and social media engagement as though such requires extreme talent and you've got your modern star!




Me, I have been waiting with bated breath for the day I can look on the television or listen to an album and think, "this is someone whose career I believe is worth watching."

Full stop.

Not, "well, I should support them because they Black, and I'm Black, and we both think Black Lives Matter, and girrrrrl, did you read their interview with Vogue?!?!! They smart and down for the cause as hell!! And OMG, SOOOOO good looking!!!1!!

Just, "I like them, they have IT, the thing worth watching, and I want to see where this is going."

A lot of people are not like me. And I mean like me in the sense that it takes less for some to go gung ho, balls to the walls all in with their 'faves'. Sometimes all some need is a look here, a good photo there, a hashtag here, a sprinkle of fake relativity there, and a - to loosely pull from Tumblr - pastel tinted image with some sort of ~ soft ghetto ~  (aka Black American-culture based iconography as worn and performed by nonblack or half-black people; may also include images/tokens from the Black diaspora and other colorblind racism driven nonsense) aesthetic over here.

Voilà, you have the makings of someone worth fawning over - your modern young starlet.

I used to be very befuddled as to why such was the case, why so many people literally creamed their pants and willfully bowed down at the alter of fairly boring, average people who hopped onto a social media platform and only utilized it to pout and flick hair out of their faces when I realized: people are more attune to support things that are:

1. Popular - we all succumb to the intrigue of the leader's appeal, and
2. They can objectify

It is easy to assign the "It" factor to those who have amassed a following and do not speak - or at least...those who speak but are either mimicking popular opinion or just flat out not being listened to. Once the star(let) has broken these two rules, people quickly realize just how little IT they have.

No one stands out if everyone is doing the same thing.

It's hard to separate from the rest, but that does not stop me from wanting to see someone who does.

When we applaud a certain prototype, the bigwigs pulling the strings and opening the doors see that as a cosign of what they think we want, and then the mass production begins and things very quickly devolve from risque and fresh, to sterile and boring.

I'm so sorry, but a lot of these under 25s are sterile and boring to me - I just cannot force a long-lasting relationship with multiple carbon copies of the same girl, though I've tried.

Oh, how I have tried.

But being subpar is more distracting to me than outstanding marketability.

Also fictive kinship is one hell of a motherf*cker, I'll tell you that.

And other people will guilt you with it, too! They'll make you feel like you're not down for "The Culture" (which...shut the hell up with that, everything is "for the culture" this, "for the culture" that, empty ass phrase - ya'll ruin everything) if you so dare as to not geek out over someone/something because, "YoU're boTH BUH-laCK! WhY WoulDn'T yoU!?!?" you're essentially seen as anti this faux progress we've been told is happening across industries.

Sorry, I'm no longer in the business of pretending to be satisfied with mediocrity just because it comes from the imagination of somebody black and/or black adjacent.

Also, well damn, can't a b*tch just be tired of the trite bull being thrown at me?

Maybe I'm tired of seeing the fast to come, fast to go, endless Aaliyah/Beyoncé/Rihanna/Erykah Badu cosplayers with half the drive and half the talent?

Maybe I'm tired of seeing the same lightskinned black/biracial girls flit across my media devices, playing some sort of character meant to turn them into The Next Serious "Black" Actor™ à la Halle Berry. All the while dark skinned/monoracial Black actresses fight an uphill battle against becoming slowly pigeonholed into the Meagan Good 'Sexpot' or Gabrielle Union "Mean Girl" archetypes before they hit 30?

Maybe I'm tired of being lectured about and spoon fed one-dimensional, fanservice social justice from an industry teeming with sexual predators and various others complicit in the vile abuse of power, colorism, racism and sexism?

Maybe I'm just tired of watching Black people be relegated to biopics, slave narratives and other props that enclose them in a box?

Maybe I'm just tired of it?

Just because I don't see it for the doll doesn't mean you don't have to.


I say all of this to say that I am waiting, impatiently at this point because I'm not getting any younger, and in two years I will no longer be part of the most important core target audience demographic (18-25), and I am already confused by all these little bad ass, colored hair, emo/trap/druggie rappers that keep popping up out the woodwork like cockroaches behaving like they ain't got any kinds of sense, just running around out here like they weren't born in the year 2000 so that means I'M GROWN, you not grown, don't know who the hell you are lil' boy but I'm tired of seeing your grilled mug pop up on my TL looking like you ain't never had a praying granny, auntie, momma, sistercousin not never in your life, got my younger sister out here talking about some 'listen to Lil' Pump and XXXtradarkeyes' heelllll no! Meanwhile they keep trying to force feed me the same lighskinned girl singing like them indie songbirds on Vine, but because she got straightbacks, says 'ya'll' and dress like Aaliyah aka hip-hop Barbie meets Kill Bill, I'm supposed to stan, meanwhile they only got room for biracial usually lightskinned black girls on the big screen, while the dark black ones either get limited to biopics and other spectaculars if they're not completely pushed to the background and maybe only like three dark black girls are actually on television and only two got the starring roles, and one show I don't watch the other ain't even come out yet, and I ain't gonna watch it because DCTV ain't been good in a hot minute, and I don't trust the CW to do anybody black right ever since they had the NERVE to cancel The Game and Everybody Hates Chris like those weren't two good ass shows and now we're either stereotypical attitude girls or meek one dimensional support systems, where is my Girlfriends, my All of Us, my One on One? No, now everyone only know Love and Hip-

Woah.

Excuse my rant...

*Puts down Metamucil, and takes off Cosby Coogie sweater*

I...I say all of this to say, there comes a point in time where the colored girl has reached the end of the road and says: enough is enough. I am tired of the Hollywood machine not taking its time to invest in the lasting star power or inherent talent of any under 25 Black/Black adjacent artist. I'm tired of being force fed an oversaturated, hastily produced, poorly constructed carbon copy of the same girls and ideas that are, frankly, not worth my attention or time. To add insult to injury, I'm also tired of being told that these "lil quick things" - to loosely paraphrase Beyoncé - are worthy of my accolades and enagagement. Sorry, they're just not sticking like glue.

I only remain optimistic because of the coup that is...seemingly...taking place, but I'd like to see things change.

Soon.