The relative monotony of my daily life is starting to prove problematic. To be honest, as of late, the mundanities of my standard day has proved itself totally uninspiring. The seemingly never ending routine of waking up, going to work, coming home and going to sleep have become acts I dread doing. Save for the occasional weekend spent out with my gworls, there is currently no excitement in my life.

As someone who finds release in creating, I'm not entirely sure what this lapse is symptomatic of - could be outright boredom, dissatisfaction or the ennui that has haunted me for the past couple months. Alas, unlike DJ Khaled, I do not have the keys to solve my problems.

*flips hair out of eyes* *takes imaginary sip of white wine like I'm Carrie mother-fin' Bradshaw*

To be frank, I think I'm starting to hate the non-creative working world.

My continual existence in the "9 to 5 just to stay alive world" Beyoncé sang about is damn near boring me to tears, and actively draining my happiness daily.

My fear of failure and instability will never allow me to leave the safety net of working an every day job. Unlike the few Twitter entrepreneurs who ceaselessly encourage people to drop everything and take up their passions full time, my being is just not wired to behave in that way.

The advice, I realize, though it comes from a well-meaning (slightly condescending) place, is highly flawed. Not everyone can just drop everything and go - capitalism doesn't adhere to those rules.
Also, I'm the child of African parents - if you cannot produce evidence of work or excuse behind why you are not working, your failure will constantly be held up to you like a mirror.

And in comes Monica Charles Brooks-Dent.

From what little I can remember (I'll start eating those almonds soon enough) of Girlfriends, Monica was your typical High Strung SuperBitch with a cliche redemption arc. I hated her because her presence in the series meant a new character whose bougie countenance wasn't as easy to swallow as Toni Childs'. Also, the ensuing demise of William's friendship with the core four (and later, *sniffles*, three) ladies was a symptom of her annoyingly misplaced jealousy. Regardless of my own personal feelings towards this very fictional character, the speech pictured in the image is a gem. Sure, within the context of this scene, it is spring boarded off Monica's desire to maintain a lifestyle she believes is owed to her and, by proximity, her partner, but still, the message applies.

(Again, her adoration of the superficial was...a lot to take in at the time.)

(Speaking of which, whyyyyy was 12-year-old me watching Girlfriends?)

Monica was attempting to persuade William to ditch dressing up as Santa for a young


and instead host a party for the partners at his law firm, thereby guaranteeing his promotion to senior partner.

Of course, life in the Girlfriends universe was never simple, and William thought he could do both.

But see, here's the thing - he couldn't, and I don't want to do both.

I want to be totally happy choosing the decision that will not cause me to want to gouge out my eyeballs or drown me in regret x years from that moment.

Listen, I'd sooner chew through bricks than not live an extraordinary life.

I mean, of course, now I don't really have that much of a choice *stares at my empty ass bank account*, but I refuse to allow myself to live a nondescript life of mid-level ordinariness. If I'm unhappy with it now, imagine what it could be like in 10+ years?

Yeah, no. I refuse to allow it.

My dissatisfaction is temporary - I will and can live the life I so desire. I command and speak/write that into existence, Monica style.

She may have been a *Lauren Conrad voice* sucky person, but every once in a while, her presence was appreciated and her gems were timeless.

So, here's to Monica...and following your heart, I guess.

(Also, watch the episode, because Girlfriends was amazing, and so underappreciated.)