Life in the 2010s is invariably different from what I expected it to be in the early 2000s.

For one, this adult sh*t that I was super pressed to come up on? Absolute trash.

Politics both internationally and nationally? Dumpster fire garbage.

Environmental and agricultural safety? Hot mess.

Social engagement? Waning as the days go by.

Cross-cultural relations? Don't get me started.

I'm going to need somebody to get to working on that time machine because this sh*t right here?

Overrated.

(10 points to you if you already knew the YouTube video I quoted)
What I can say is, as I've grown older (and the internet begins to slowly take over my life), I've become more attuned to the coded words and phrases of 2010s adult society.

In such, I have decided to spread the love and make others aware before it is just too late for them.

Today's coded word is: Networking.

As defined by Merriam-Webster, networking is:

:  the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically :  the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business… networking remains the No. 1 cause of job attainment … — Hal Lancaster

Look at that definition. Do you know how many sex-related jokes just flew across my brain?

I really hope you are better than me.

Anyways, back to the point at hand.

I have always regarded networking as an economic and business necessity.

In my mind, one's working success was not guaranteed if you did not know how to work a room.

Then the more I did it, the more I began to weirdly feel like a social climber.

1. one who attempts to gain a higher social position or acceptance in fashionable society

social climbing

 noun

To me, networking in today's contemporary adult world carries no better, greater or more extravagantly different meaning than social climbing.

Think about it.

I mean, really think about contemporary Western culture's framework of success.

Big money. Big house. Big, sexy lovin'. Big access. Big control.

In both cases, the end goal of schmoozing, wooing and ego-stroking is still the same - attainment.

Yes, social climbers seek higher positions on a societal level, but aren't most institutions miniature, condensed versions of contemporary society?

From schools to the workplace, within all lies miniature versions of pre-appointed social hierarchies and scales.

Never forget, the achievements of the American Dream are not just limited to social standing - there is also the business, familial and economic aspect to consider.

And don't get me wrong, I take no issue with admitting that I love networking. Hell, if I could I would network all damn day and night, just networking the sh*t out of myself.

But I'm also realistic. I've also learned how to speak and recognize the language of the modern adult.

I find it amusing that one is regarded with a more refined, haute air, whilst the other is regarded as poor in taste, and an action of the lowly.

There is a prevailing mentality that social climbers enjoy the act of using and abusing others for their own personal, superficial gain, affording themselves the rights to a level of access never meant for them.

Meanwhile networking is looked at as an even exchange between two like minded people whose bond has authentic, lasting roots.

Yeah:

A. Not every social climber is a huge dick.

There are some who have mastered the art so wonderfully, you don't even realized you've been used until it's too late.

And

B. Think about how many people you've 'networked' with with the sole intentions of entering a new space in life.

How many of them remain in your contact today?

It's why that (insert member of institution) who kinda sorta annoys you will always maintain their status as a work friend or acquaintance - never a best friend, but a someone whose being is useful to your own success.

Sometimes you need somebody to come up with or even come up off of - it's okay, this is a safe space, confront those demons!

I recognize you, and welcome you to life in 2017.