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This past weekend, my sister asked me if I was depressed. For the last two of the four days I had been home, I was a ghost of my former self (my former self having been last seen on Nov. 7, 2016). The only time I made any effort to leave my bedroom had been when I felt the need to eat, wash up and/or relieve my bladder. I was a living caricature of every male director's idea of what a girl looks like post-break up - customary blanket shield and all. 

It's true, I was depressed, and I'm damn mad about it.

For what has felt like the longest two and a half months of my life, the act of survival has felt like a protest. I fluctuate between intense bouts of anxiety, ambivalence, anger (the alliteration is not purposeful) and helplessness. Of course, there have been ups, but there have also been downs. I exist in a world that seems to constantly be teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it.

Hence, the anger.

Ever since I was a child, my creative outlet has been writing. From tall tales to journal entries, I have found solace, a warm comfort, in being able to express myself through carefully constructed words. However, this time I can't - I am...blocked, and my reluctance to express my anger coupled with fluctuating bouts of depression has not helped.

Listen, remaining optimistic in the era of Tropicana Jong-Il (as coined by Michael Arceneaux) is a TAAAAAASK, girl I'm telling you. That I am really alive to witness a global fascist period potentially lead to the destruction of the Western world is...incomprehensible. I have felt like the gif of Nazaré Tedesco (the confused looking white lady in a jail cell) every day since Nov. 8, 2016, and I'm SICK OF IT.

I'm sick of ugly ass Nazis.
I'm sick of white liberalism.
I'm sick of fascism.
I'm sick of fake ass, "I didn't know what I was voting for", post-voter regret tales.
I'm sick of the entire Marigold Manchurian candidate's inner sanctum.
I'M SICK OF IT ALL.

*Woosah*

So I'm back, and I'm (slowly, but surely) getting better.
Let's get to it!