The framework of what is expected and must be completed in order to achieve success is outdated. You see, the socially preferential list I was taught to follow and adhere to looks something like this:

1. Graduate from high school
2. Attend and graduate a four-year collegiate institution
    2a. Ideally, continue your education and attain a specialized, post-bach degree (MA, MS, PhD, etc.)
3. Begin a career
4. Grow your wealth and career.
5. Grow your wealth some more so you may pay it forward.

Nothing about that list is finite, but the I am expected to follow that order if I ever want to be in proximity to "success". Yet here I stand, having nearly achieved the first two pre-requisites, bearing nothing outside a couple pieces of papyrus to show for it.

As I traverse the rocky path that is the the professional working world, I've noticed there seems to be this ubiquitous belief that if you have not immediately made it - that means found a successful career, snagged a steady, well paying job fresh out of college, gotten that moneyyyy honeeyyyy - you're unmotivated, listless or falling behind.

And you know what happens to the kids that fall behind? They're FAILURES.
That's no good, is it?

In hindsight, I find it almost amusing how the competitive environment that is searching for a job within my specific field (or any field for that matter) has been met with rejection from both a personal and professional end. I've done what is expected of me, so why am I not swimming in success?

Because the list doesn't breathe a whisper to the intense amounts of hard work, effort, patience, sleepless nights, stress sweats and other moments that make you question if any of this is worth sacrificing your happiness over. Real obstacles built to limit equal opportunity or distribution input purposely to keep success at a distance for many.

(If this sounds cynical, remember I live in America)

Of course, what constitutes success varies per individual, but we all know it when we see it.
It's that one family member your parents constantly compare you to, the thing that keeps you up at night and wakes you in the morning. The only reason why you're keeping your head above water and making a way when you can. It's your American f*cking Dream.

Too bad the list is not a guarantor of achieving it.

Me, I'd like to believe I am not a settler. Despite all the efforts I have put in thus far, and in spite of my own stresses - if I don't get the job that I want, that I'm not excited to wake up and go to, I'm not doing it.

I want my American Dream - I've followed the path, why shouldn't I?

But I can say that now because I have yet to complete undergrad, so we'll see how that energy holds up when the time comes.

I'm just not in any rush to settle for anything that promises me security - I want to love what I do.

But, see, I can afford to say that now. I can gamble with my career and reaching for success for a few months because I have nestled comfortably within the bosom of a family that has continually supported me for 21 years. In ways that can and cannot be priced.
And so I have reached the fork in the road that Robert Frost once spoke about - should I comfortably settle for anything or continue fighting for what I truly love to do?

While settling temporarily makes sense because, loans; passion and finding the joy and pride in what I do takes ultimate precedence.

So what is this girl to do? What choice is she to make? I honestly can't tell you, right now. One of my biggest fears is that I may never be able to.

What I have learned, however, is to cease comparing my journey to that of those who are so unlike me. That will only hurt me and derail my focus and drive. Look success dead in the face, affirm your passions, make yourself and your efforts a priority, and most importantly work hard for what you want.

It may take weeks, months, hell even years! But always be sure to hit your marks, and never, I mean EVER be comfortable.

As quickly as success comes, it goes as well.

So list and expectations be damned, how we get there is uniquely individual. So long as we are working towards getting there, we are successes in my book.