On: Being Charlotte York
10:18 PM |
| Charlotte York in crisis - S3 Ep. 1 |
Exhausted with Love: The Concept, to be exact.
Like Charlotte York, the sweet, sweet Park Avenue Pollyanna, I have been clutching onto this old-fashioned belief that, "love conquers all" and "the perfect man is out there, somewhere". This is due, in part, to an insane level of optimism which has been honed into the very core of me ever since I was five, and an innately romantic nature.
The thought of one day obtaining this Magical and Great Love™ gave me something to look forward to when adulthood eventually reared its ugly head my way and, honestly, 45 percent of me blames the Disney movies of the '90s.
Listen, Barbie can get all the jobs and be as inclusive and progressive as she wants - I commend that! I admire those strides in displaying true-ish realities! But who is ever truly excited about getting a job, going to school and/or submitting themselves to capitalism for 50-60 years?
Have you seen the ad for the game Payday? It's chilling - the woes of capitalism is starting to wrap its murky hands around the necks of innocent children.
But back to the rant at hand.
No, I'm not giving up on love, I have just reached a point in my life where I realize love is not enough to sustain a mature, adult relationship.
It was only midway through my freshman year of undergrad that I realized just how naive I was when it came to matters of the heart. And I mean really stupid - fish out of water, sharkbait stupid. I had to come to terms - unwillingly and slowly - that the idealistic love I had been aspiring to achieve was unrealistic and shrouded in a pathos meant to fuel: ding, ding ding! Capitalism.
Alongside that, incessant discussion and display of 'perfect love' on social media did not make the case any better.
Loving someone, I mean really loving someone takes maturity, effort, sacrifice, vulnerability, knowledge that reciprocity may not always be there, and most importantly, time.
As annoying as the cliche is, it's true, these things take time. You have to be aware of just what you could be getting into before fully committing yourself to someone. Don't rush your search for Mr./Mrs. Right and end up with Mr./Mrs. Right Now because it's convenient - it'll only end up hurting you and the person you're with.
Hell, Charlotte got married within a month of knowing Dr. Trey MacDougal because she thought she had found her knight in shining armor, her Mr. Right, and look how that worked out for her!
She had to get a divorce because: Trey couldn't get it up (with her), his mother was an overbearing nutjob who wanted her son to have an Oedipus Complex so BAD, Charlotte couldn't have kids, he eventually told her he didn't want kids - it was just a hot mess. They were incompatible from the start, but she loved him because he fit in all her ideal husband, perfect boyfriend boxes.
Also because he was rich AS HELL, like, obscenely rich. Sure, Charlotte had money too, but Trey MacDougal was swimming in it.
*Jesus, let that be my bag, we pray!*
Maybe we suffer from the same "rose-colored glasses, this is who you are in my head, I'll deny who you are in reality" syndrome, but at this point in my life, it's not enough to fully lean on love when looking for a partner or sustaining a relationship. Don't let the neurochemical con job get you!
And yes, Charlotte eventually found love and happiness in Harry Goldenblatt, her wealthy, Jewish (she converted for him!) divorce lawyer, but it took time, sacrifice and maturity before she found Her Great Love.
*breaks to listen to "Love by Kendrick Lamar and Zacari and stares deeply into The Void*
It also takes time.
*Nervously chuckles* Hopefully not too much time, look at how it worked out for Carrie and Big.
Also, great sex is not enough to sustain a relationship either. Let's evolve in 2017.
“And in the end, we were all just humans.. drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
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