On: B.Y.O.B. (Be Your Own B*tch)
10:50 PM
I'd like to think the current amount of external influence upon my personality rests somewhere between 25-35 percent. I allow myself to exist within this range because the concept of, and physical 'me' had been in development before 'me' was even alive. Also, due to the nature in which I was brought up, and the ensuing way in which I have thus far moved throughout society, I have come to accept the reality that there are certain behaviors which can either be taught and/or learned.“i am mine.
before i am ever anyone else's.”
― Nayyirah Waheed, Nejma
I believe I purposely kept the percentage value moderately (yet realistically) low because the thought of being a person who lacks any depth and is swung any direction the wind blows makes my skin itch. I've worked really hard to forge a uniquely individual identity that is not aggressively moved by just any ol' outside influence. I'm entering my 24th year on Earth and, no offense, but the thought of continually allowing the voices of many sway my behaviors, perceptions or feelings in an extreme way feels regressive as hell. I'm not closed off to outside influence, I just don't want that to be the primary force that encompasses my personality.
Which brings me to the ultimate point of what I'm sure will read as a juvenile post: I hate imitation as a form of
Especially at this age (almost six years after the distaste began forming) - brown nosers, suck ups, Tracy Try Hards - please keep that devastatingly sad, pathetically desperate energy away from me.
I don't know, maybe It's because I'm overly perceptive and tend to pick up on quirks and nervous ticks, but 8 times out of 10, my third eye is sharp to catch any imitation or faker-ation in the
*breaks to hit Auntie jig*
As I say all the time: In moments of insecurity, the human body manages to take on one of the most conspicuous forms. Frankly, it is almost amazing how transparent the motivations behind our behaviors are once the performer's walls have fallen down.
I'm telling you, every single time, I - a member of the audience - can recognize when a performance is completely disingenuous.
Imitation stops being the most sincere form of flattery after a certain point in time.
My ego does not thrive on imitation as a form of flattery. If anything, it makes me feel as though any semblance of a relationship is fraudulent - built precariously upon a throne of total and utter bullsh*t.
No, it's not flattering when someone picks apart the parts of my personality they thoroughly enjoy and don it like a costume - It's weird and creepy.
Being a 'yes' man/woman for the sake of likability will not benefit you in any long-term run.
People who fear isolation from the group risk more simply by not just being themselves.
To assuage any confusion: We do not need to be the same, Jane.
I'm telling you, every single time, I - a member of the audience - can recognize when a performance is completely disingenuous.
Imitation stops being the most sincere form of flattery after a certain point in time.
My ego does not thrive on imitation as a form of flattery. If anything, it makes me feel as though any semblance of a relationship is fraudulent - built precariously upon a throne of total and utter bullsh*t.
Make use of the spine most beings were born with and stand firmly within your own structure. Attempting to snatch mine out of my back is a futile effort, and one in which I will not stand quietly for.
No, it's not flattering when someone picks apart the parts of my personality they thoroughly enjoy and don it like a costume - It's weird and creepy.
Being a 'yes' man/woman for the sake of likability will not benefit you in any long-term run.
People who fear isolation from the group risk more simply by not just being themselves.
To assuage any confusion: We do not need to be the same, Jane.
You don't have to be everyone's best friend and you certainly don't have, nor should you ever feel the need, to degrade the iron embedded within your spine at the behest of everyone else.
This isn't The Earth's Next Best Friend Competition.
And, yeah, sometimes we have to kiss a little ass and put on the Speak and Spell to get ahead or even stay in the game, but my goodness, at least do that for a bag!
But do not appropriate for the bag.
Imagine brown nosing for anything outside of a socioeconomic, scratch that, purely economic gain.
IMAGINE brown nosing for popularity - one of the most fickle and fleeting concepts.
HA! Not in this big year of Blue Ivy, Rumi and Sir Carter.
To quote legendary visual artist, TS Madison:
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