*Clears throat in preparation for freestyle rap*


*delicately places microphone on the ground*

If you enjoyed my rap, and wish to book me for your next party and/or corporate event, I can be contacted at the e-

oh, no?

Wow, hater much?

I'm just kidding, though I do hope you enjoyed and took note of my homage to Issa Rae's love of freestyle rap which she has joyously carried from her award-winning, hit web series, The Misadventures Of An Awkward Black Girl, to her hit HBO show, Insecure.

It has now been a little over 17 hours since Insecure's second season premiere aired last night, and - you know me - I have got A LOT of thoughts.

There was...a mist of sorts, clouding my vision these past several hours. As I gathered my thoughts together in a coherent fashion, I realized that said mist was a manifestation of the more ashier  masculine side of Black Twitter.

Over there laid a total lack of awareness that, truthfully, shook me to my core.

They call themselves the #LawrenceHive (which...BeyHive, sweetie I'm so sorry that an ugly a** b*tch would co-opt something like that, we already have to deal with Future stans, now this?), a collective of people who cheer on the actions of Insecure character, Lawrence, as portrayed by superfine actor, Jay Ellis.

Lawrence is the ex-boyfriend of protagonist, Issa, who - after getting cheated on - is currently operating on a level they call : Savage Mode.

In laymen's terms,  savage mode means Lawrence is a hobosexual who left his ex-girl and old domicile for a pretty bank teller whose sexual advances he initally declined, but is now entertaining and abusing for food, room and board.

Mhmm...the good life.


(I mean, the utter GALL)

I would like to state that I've never been a fan of either Issa or Lawrence as characters.

As a twosome they were insufferable, and as individual characters they have managed to also be magnificently sucky people.

Issa the character is wildly self-centered and thrives on dysfunction. Her passive aggressive nature and self-sabotaging ways tend to leak into her friendships, worklife and romantic life.

Were she a real person, I'd want her far away from me.


Lawrence, on the other hand, is unmotivated and oft complacent in all situations. His life's purpose was placed on the back burner while he lived with his feet kicked up on Issa's couch. Rather than following through with his career or passions, he chose to abandon them, leaving Issa to pick up the pieces of his collateral damage. Oh yeah, and all while she was doing that, Lawrence could be found drinking up all her milk, neglecting her as his romantic partner and overall, just being listless for years prior to being cheated on.

Currently, he is half living on a blow up mattress in his friend Chad's living room, and half living in his new girl? sex buddy? situationship? lady friend, Dominique's bedsheets (if you know what I mean *wink wink, nudge nudge*).

Ironically enough, the entire plot of the show hinges on the fact that, much to the chagrin and despite the prodding of both the men and women in their lives, neither Issa nor Lawrence can seem to get it together and be, you know, fully functioning adults.

Whether they be together or apart.

So I suppose my character summaries - though harsh - are fairly apt.

In the Real World, there is a deep divide with regards to whose side to be on. Because of my own dispassionate feelings towards these characters, I am not plagued by these afflictions, though the level of vitriol towards Issa and coddling of Lawrence does bemuse me.

Ride Or Die culture dictates that it is Issa who is in the wrong for cheating on Lawrence, because what is a woman who doesn't ride for and stand by her man through all his ups, downs and in-betweens?

Ain't sh*t.

But what is a man who doesn't wait around for his woman to get on her feet?

Is it even ever expected of men to wait around for women to get her life together?

While she sits on his couch, feet kicked up, bonnet and nipples lost in the wind, drinking up all his milk as their sex life becomes practically nonexistant?